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To say I was a good wife prior to my sobriety would be a lie, I was not in so many ways.
My husband and I had much more of a parent child relationship for many years, it certainly was not a healthy relationship.
Because I needed to feel in control of the relationship to feel safe, it did not allow for my husband to grow and didn’t allow me to have respect for him.
I look back and realize that my calm, fairly together response was, in reality, shock and trauma. While, in the past 4 years, there have been some porn-related slips, there has been no more cheating, so far as I can tell. We’ve had ups and downs, but have been generally successful in recovering this marriage.
My reason for believing him is the difference in reaction he has had over the years – he’s not defensive, doesn’t fight my accusations, is calmly open to my questions, feels I have the right to my feelings, etc. Still, we recently separated for a few months because I had to face the fact that, while things are better, stable, peaceful, even good…
I was recently blindsided by my husbands sex addiction, am about 3 weeks post confrontation……….
For background, I am a recovering alcoholic, have been sober almost 2 years.